A few nights ago I was working on a project and asked Ellen if she would help me for a few minutes. Ellen had been messaging back and forth with one of her former students, but agreed to come help me anyway.  After a few minutes she got distracted by another text.  In my frustration I told her “Would you please focus!” in a rather harsh tone of voice.

Looking back now, it’s obvious I was far from being loving and kind.  Unfortunately, at the moment I felt justified by my actions, and went on to criticize her for failing to focus when I needed her help. I know, I know. Pretty selfish isn’t it.

As I’m writing this I’m on a flight from Chicago to Delhi.  Soon after I arrive, I will travel to Dehra Dun and spend a few days at the Mathurawalla Vineyard teaching about marriage.  Trust me, it’s hard to here God’s voice on what to teach about marriage without the Holy Spirit shining the light on your own character.

Reflecting on my experience, I remembered some advice I came across many years ago as a new husband.  It went something like this:

ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO GROW CLOSER TOGETHER AS A COUPLE IS TO BOTH GROW CLOSER TO JESUS.

It’s kind of like a triangle with the two spouses at opposite points of the triangle, and Jesus at the other point.  The natural approach to improving marriage is to focus on the line between husband and wife.  Certainly this is good and brings about some positive results.  However,  we almost always run into issues in our heart that make a close relationship difficult, if not impossible.  On the other hand, when both husband and wife also focus on getting closer to Jesus at the top of the triangle, the Holy Spirit begins to change our character from the inside-out.  As a result, while we are getting closer to Jesus, we become much more capable of being a loving and kind husband or wife.

WHAT ARE SOME AREAS OF YOUR LIFE THAT NEED TO CHANGE BEFORE YOU CAN GET CLOSER TO YOUR SPOUSE?

HOW COULD YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS HELP YOU TO GROW AND CHANGE IN THIS AREA?